In an interview with a journalist Fausta Marija Leščiauskaitė, Yasmin defined asexuality as a lack of sexual attraction to individuals of all genders.
„The A in LGBTQIA+ stands for a sexuality that is not orientated towards any gender. People who identify themselves as asexuals are not heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual,“ said Yasmin.
The model said that asexuality is not a common conversation topic in society. She pointed out that although asexuality is more openly talked about in the United Kingdom or the United States, it is still not included in the school curriculum. According to Yasmin, you can rarely hear about asexuality on TV, and it is barely talked about in the LGBTQIA+ community.
„If someone is searching for information about asexuality, they can often come across uninformed opinions and convictions,“ said Benoit.
Yasmin recalled how others often looked at her with pity. Many think that asexual individuals choose to punish themselves and have not discovered who they truly are. During the LOGIN conference, the model revealed very personal information about herself.
„Although many asexuals have had sexual intercourse, I have not. Not wanting to have sex is definitely not related to bad sexual experiences. If the main criteria for asexuality would be bad sex, there would be way more asexual people,“ the model joked.
According to Yasmin, many people interact with asexual people the same way they used to do with homosexuals. The opinion that someone can grow out of being asexual, change it medically or by having sexual intercourse with a person of a certain gender is still prevalent.
„People often assume that something is either wrong with you physically or psychologically. Others think that it’s a byproduct of despising people or thinking that you’re too good for others,“ the model assured, „trust me, telling someone that you are asexual means you’ve thought about it a lot. But people still find other reasons to explain your sexuality.“
Sexuality is often wrongly interpreted
There are many portrayals of sexuality in the media today. Yasmin expressed that it’s not wrong to openly talk about sex, but she thinks that it can force people to be more sexually active.
„According to statistics, today’s youth have less sexual intercourse than previous generations which is surprising if we look at the media. I think this is because society is changing. Reality is vastly different from what is shown in the media,“ said Yamin.
An important aspect, according to Yamin, are the wrong interpretations related to sexuality these days. She said that she still gets questions about her clothes or makeup.
„During work I often get asked why I use makeup, do my hair, wear skirts or skinny jeans if I don’t want sexual attention from men. I think it’s obvious that people base their image on their preferences, not their sexual needs,“ she said.
The model assured that men are allowed to look at women and think they’re sexy. But it becomes problematic if attractiveness is forced upon an individual and the attention becomes unwanted.
„It becomes a problem when young men start leaving disrespectful comments or messages on my social media. For example, when I was growing up, I was interested in alternative culture. I still am a huge heavy metal fan. It is normal to wear corsets or fishnets when you’re a part of that scene. When I would wear clothing like that, people would call that being sexy. It’s annoying because it’s just a fashion choice and clothes aren’t essential to express sexuality,“ shared Yasmin.
Society cannot differentiate romantic and sexual attraction
Yasmin assured that asexual individuals can watch pornography, read erotic novels or enjoy art with sexual themes. According to her, people who don’t feel sexual attraction can still be interested in those things.
„There are many sexual aspects that are not related to sexual attraction. For example, sex toy sales increased during the pandemic because people understood that reaching an orgasm doesn’t require another person. For asexuals this is a well-known fact already,“ claimed the model.
The woman pointed out that society still cannot differentiate between romantic and sexual attraction. According to Yasmin, people think that if you are a heterosexual, you are only attracted to the opposite gender which is not always true.
„Bisexuals can feel sexual attraction to men but romantic attraction to women. A great example of this would be Freddy Mercury. He was bisexual and was open about his romantic feelings towards women although he slept with men. There are also asexual people who can feel romantic attraction for men and women. It is also important to note that there are those who don’t feel romantic attraction at all. There are many variations, and it is most important to understand the difference between them,“ said Benoit.
Never had a romantic relationship
When asked if she ever had a boyfriend, the model smiled and answered that it happened in primary school but later she found out he was gay. According to Yasmin, they were good friends, but others were pressuring them to date.
„That was my only experience with dating and after that I wasn’t interested in it. I remember when I was little, I noticed how kids got crushes, went on dates, and girls fought because of boys and vice versa. Even then I thought that people put too much effort into that. I just didn’t have time for it. I don’t think too much about getting into a romantic relationship – if it happens, it happens, if not – that’s okay as well,“ answered Yasmin.
At 11, the model started going to an all-girls school. She hoped she would avoid attention and comments about her being different. The plan did not work out and the other girls noticed that Yasmin was not interested in boys.
„It became apparent that I was not interested in boys. People started questioning whether there’s something wrong with me or if I’m a homosexual. Others thought I was sick or developing too slowly. This pushed me to self-analyze, I searched for information on Google which led me to find out about asexuality. At first, I wasn’t brave enough to use the term because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I didn’t talk about it until 2017. I held it a secret when I was at college, university and during my master’s studies,“ shared the model.
The comments about slow development pushed the model to prove others wrong.
„I had no choice but to do my best. I have several diplomas, scholarships, and academic achievements,“ said Yasmin.
Y. Benoit is a British model, award-winning asexual activist, writer, public speaker, media consultant and analyst. After coming out in 2017 she quickly became the voice of the asexual community and started a movement #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike. Y. Benoit established the International Asexuality Day (celebrated on April 6) to bring awareness about asexuality. MTV, Sky News, Vogue, BBC and other outlets talked about the model’s choice and campaign.
