Experiences from relationships formed during adolescence have taught us a lot
Modesta (name changed) considers herself to be a deeply family-oriented person – a trait evident in the long-standing relationship she has cultivated with her partner.
“When we started our relationship, I was merely fifteen years old. It was my first romantic friendship, so everything felt incredibly novel at the time – I didn’t know what constitutes a normal, healthy relationship, but it was a captivating journey. I wanted to spend every moment possible with my boyfriend,” recalls the young woman.
Modesta’s relationship with her first boyfriend endures to this day. Today, the couple is counting their sixth year together, reminiscing about the past challenges with a smile. According to Modesta, all these years they spent together brought a profound learning experience.
“When it comes to arguments and disagreements, we had more of them in the past. Everything was new, we didn't know how to navigate situations or react appropriately, but now that I know my boyfriend very well and I understand how he responds in certain situations, it helps us to avoid some arguments. And if we do encounter disagreements, we are better equipped to handle them,” Modesta explains.
The girl is candid – she did not anticipate a lasting and strong relationship from the romantic friendship she embarked on in her teens.
Although, as Modesta admits, the first year of their relationship was full of challenges, and they decided to take a break from their friendship. These experiences served a valuable lesson for the couple.
“Now we have learned the importance of communicating with each other to resolve some difficulties without excessive anger. Also, it is crucial to realize that differing opinions are normal in certain situations. We all have our own perspectives and approaches. When I finally learned this, dealing with problems became much easier,” she said.
She acknowledges that she also learns from the examples she observes in her surroundings.
“I don’t have a specific role model, but one example that definitely influences and inspires me is my parents. If there is some kind of disagreement, my dad is typically the one who compromises, not my mother. Over the years, I have noticed similar tendency in my relationship – I seldom compromise. If I believe something should be a certain way, that is how I want it to be and that is it. I have noticed that my partner also began to understand where this is coming from,” Modesta smiles.
Not all stories resemble romantic movies
A young woman Samanta (name changed) also shared her experience of love affairs. The girl admits that the recent break-up with her partner has, in a way, influenced her perspective on love, but she did not feel bad about it.
“Now I want to focus on myself. Also, I just haven’t found the right person yet, but I am not upset about that. I know that someday the right person will come into my life,” says Samantha.
She acknowledges that her painful experience has also made her think more about the fear of commitment, which seems a common concern among her generation.
“I have definitely thought about it, but not because I don’t desire a relationship, but more for a fear of wasting my time with the wrong person. Of course, it is impossible to predict how someone will evolve in the future or how living together will unfold. My fear stems from the possibility of a seemingly perfect relationship taking a wrong turn or encountering irresolvable conflicts,” admits the girl.
Knows what person should be part of her future
Samantha acknowledges occasionally getting various questions from older relatives, who anticipate her finding the person she will spend the rest of her life with, but assures not feeling annoyed or stressed.
“At this stage of my life, I am happy on my own, and I genuinely feel content. I find joy being alone, and one day I will definitely meet someone with whom I can share the happiness I have accumulated,” she said optimistically.
However, Samantha admits thinking about the qualities she would like her future partner to have.
“I do have a general idea of the basic qualities I would like my partner to have, but I certainly do not have a specific image in mind. I simply want to be with a good person, someone with whom I share common interests, but I find it challenging to describe the perfect relationship because sometimes I wonder if such a thing even possible. After all, everyone faces more or less difficulties,” Samantha thinks.